She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
