I must be too annoying 4 u.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
