i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Just invented taco cereal.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
