We need to start having sex underwater more often.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
After tacos, we're chasing women.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
