i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
