My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
