he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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