I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you win again, gameday.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
