Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
