they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
