Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
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