haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
