sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
