So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
