If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
My ass is underappreciated
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
