So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
