I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
