so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
