my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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