I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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