wrigley field is MILF paradise
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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