Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I have feelings that need drinking.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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