Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
