I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
