i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
