Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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