meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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