please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
