I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
