addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
