my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
