on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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