When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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