You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
