It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
