why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
