this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
