My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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