actually, I'm a sock model
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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