I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
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