She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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