I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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