After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
