After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
