she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
