with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
