so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
