I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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