reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
