you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
