Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Someone shit on the floor
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
