speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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